Two Fat Ladies

this was written as a response to the Writing Group's monthly challenge. This month it was to produce a piece of writing that had a 'birthday' flavour.

TWO FAT LADIES

“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do”
Tom sang this song every time he washed his hands.

“I'm half crazy, all for the love of you"
He'd timed himself and established that one verse took twenty seconds.

“It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage”
It was much preferable to rasping out a couple of verses of 'Happy Birthday'.

“But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two”

However …........ today was different. It WAS actually his birthday, so just to mark the occasion he thought he'd change the song. Then he changed his mind again. It seemed too self-indulgent and he would feel slightly uncomfortable to be serenading himself with birthday wishes. Also, what would his late wife think of him deserting their song for the day?

Daisy had died three years ago – they had been married for 58 years.With no Daisy and no family, Tom found birthdays to be no different to any other day – apart perhaps from the nagging reminder that time is running out. Once lockdown restrictions were eased he made a point of walking into the village each morning to buy groceries and a paper. What would Daisy have thought about this mask wearing business? He was sure that she would have found it all rather sinister.

The sheltered housing where he now lived had a communal lounge where he joined a Bridge group once a week. The pandemic had demanded that they implement a degree of social distancing. They gave it some thought and concluded that they were fine as they were (well, the elderly can be quite stubborn) and Tom removed any feelings of guilt which they might have had by declaring that they were in a 'bubble' – although no one quite knew what that meant.

Feeling somewhat deflated, Tom decided to give the Bridge a miss. Then a pang of guilt. What if they couldn't make a four without him? Feeling a victim of self-induced emotional blackmail he skimmed a brush through his unruly white hair and applied a spray of antiperspirant under each armpit (it was called 'African Ritual' and was 10th prize in the raffle at last year's summer fete in the village) and set off to the communal lounge.

------------------

Sitting at their usual table were the amply shaped Elsie and Vera.

“Ah, hello Tom, we were just going to come and get you”, Vera said with obvious delight. “Did you remember that there is no Bridge tonight? They are organising Bingo at 7:30. Get yourself some tickets and come and join us.”

“Yes, of course I remembered” he replied, fooling no-one (clearly he had forgotten) but now he felt trapped. He could have stayed in and spent a couple of hours with the cryptic crossword (if he solved half a dozen clues he felt very pleased with himself) and the Sudoku (not the 'difficult' one though – quite impossible!) before falling asleep during Newsnight. Too late now!

Elsie turned to wave at someone as Tom was busy paying for his bingo cards. The next moment the whole room started singing.

“Happy Birthday to you”
It took Tom a few moments to realise that he was the victim. Stitched up like a kipper!

“Happy Birthday to you”
Mrs Tyson, the Manageress, appeared with a cake – candles ablaze.

“Happy Birthday dear Thomas”
Nobody called him Thomas any more but in that precise moment he conceded to himself that it definitely worked better for the song - the extra syllable matching the rhythm of the verse. (Fancy having time to consider that during a moment of stress – isn't it strange how the mind works!)

“Happy Birthday to you.”
The cake was placed on the table for Tom to blow out the candles. (Heavens, he thought – it's like being a child again.)

“Hip hip hoorah” chanted the rest of the room.

The large icing digits gave the game away, '88' they announced.
Fortunately there were rather less candles (there were 8 if you needed to know).

“Hip hip hoorah”

“Make a wish”, instructed Vera.

I wish I wasn't here, thought Tom as he managed to extinguish the candles with only three slightly wheezy puffs.

With one final “Hip hip hoorah” the excruciating ordeal came to an end. Mrs Tyson then took away the cake which she cut into manageable pieces and served up on paper plates to the whole of the room, as a prelude to the Bingo.

“How did you know it was my birthday, and how did you know my age?” Tom queried, feeling much calmer than a few minutes earlier.

“Ah”, said Elsie, doing her best to look mysterious. “Vera and I make it our business to know these things”, tapping the side of her nose in a conspiratorial gesture.

Tom began to relax – the cake wasn't bad and, whilst he didn't normally drink the stuff, the Prosecco that Mrs Tyson brought around went down very well indeed!

“Now Tom, let's play Bingo, and we don't want any jokes about 'two fat ladies'” warned Vera, with a wink to Elsie and a self-congratulatory smile that signalled a job well done.

REUNION

this exercise was to create a short descriptive piece - not a complete story. I used a scene from an episode of the excellent BBC drama 'Normal People'

REUNION

The awkwardness of her high-school days had evolved into elegance. The girl without school friends was now the most popular in her university social group. Peer approval, however, hadn't healed the scars of vulnerability and self-doubt - the result of an abusive childhood in an unloving home.

A series of ill-judged relationships had reinforced her sense of worthlessness, but she was skilled in her ability to hide these feelings. Perhaps it was her innocence and shyness that her friends found so appealing, assisted by her soft-spoken Irish brogue.

She was a petite 5' 4” with dark shoulder length hair, a slight bobble on her nose and a small dimple on her chin. These were perhaps not the requisite elements of classical beauty, but she possessed an aura which seemed to pull people into her orbit. The key to her charisma was her soft brown eyes which were capable of melting the hardest of hearts.

----------------------

He hadn't seen her for several months, although a not a day had gone by in all that time when she hadn't been in his thoughts. When he arrived at the holiday house he quickly made his way through to the kitchen, exchanging brief pleasantries with her friends. He didn't intend to stop until he found her.

The door to the garden was open. As he walked into the sunlight, there she was on the lawn – pegging out the laundry with her back to him. The sun illuminated her loosely tied hair. At that moment he thought that he'd never seen anything so achingly beautiful.

She was lost in her own thoughts but a sixth sense made her turn around. There was the briefest of pauses before her mouth betrayed just a hint of a smile and, with a slight inclination of her head, she simply said “Hello”.

He was overcome with emotion. Both of them stood there fighting back the tears.

THIRTEEN BLOWS FOR SUFFRAGE

June, 1913 (somewhere in Kensington)

The first blow struck the King on the back of the head. BANG!

There were just the three ladies tonight. Sally's job was to keep a lookout (in case of unexpected visitors), Lucy would provide wine and cakes and Violet would carry out the treasonous work. As the younger and stronger of the three she was best suited for the job. They chatted comfortably between hammer blows. BANG!

“Wasn't it was heart-warming to see the huge crowds who turned out to watch Emily Davison's funeral parade. They'll have to take notice of us now won't they,” said Lucy hopefully. "I'm so glad that the poor horse and jockey have recovered.”

Another blow to the side of the head. BANG!

“I don't think the politicians will change anything ”, replied Violet, “they're happy enough to drag us in and out of prison with this awful new 'Cat and Mouse' Act. It's even more cruel than force-feeding.” BANG!

June, 1914 (The Marlborough Club, Pall Mall)

The Colonel summoned a club steward. “Two more brandies please Thomas.”

“Shocking situation with Archduke Fritz ….. whatever his name”

“Franz Ferdinand” said Michael, with a polite smile.

“Yes, that's the fellow. It's looking like Asquith will have to take us to war unless the Germans agree to brokering a peace deal between Austria and Serbia – and that doesn't seem very likely.” He waved his copy of The Times. “They're calling it any day now Michael.”

“It's 'a clap of thunder over Europe' according to the Chronicle” the younger man replied. “They do agree that war seems imminent.”

The steward returned with the drinks. “Your brandies gentlemen.”
“Ah, thank you Thomas” said the Colonel, pulling a few coins out of his pocket for a tip.

“Good Lord – what the blazes! Here, Michael – have a look at this. It's outrageous!”

Later that day – Kensington

“How was your day darling?” asked Michael, greeting his wife on his return from the Marlborough. “The Colonel thinks we'll be at war with Germany in a few days” he continued, without waiting for a reply.

“You won't have to enlist will you Michael?”

“Shouldn't think so – it'll all be over by Christmas according to the chaps at the club. Maybe Asquith can still make the Germans see sense” he said with little conviction.

“Oh, I must tell you - the Colonel found something strange today. He was looking for some change to tip the steward when he saw that one of his pennies had been defaced. He was furious – threw it on the floor in disgust.”

Michael reached into his pocket. “Here, I picked it up to show you.”

He handed his wife a penny. She frowned.

“Turn it over”

It was an Edward VII penny, dated 1908. Across the head of the late King, the letters 'VOTES FOR WOMEN' had been crudely stamped.

Violet felt herself flushing. She looked closely. She knew that others were stamping the coppers too but this one looked like hers. Yes, she was sure of it. She'd probably made a couple of hundred of these – although, of late, her clandestine activities had changed to printing leaflets – much less labour intensive and far more effective in delivering the message.

“Well” she replied innocently, gradually recovering her composure, “who'd have thought of something like that? I must show the ladies at our next bridge night.”

“Apparently they are being referred to as Suffragette Pennies” Michael explained. “I've never actually seen one before but a few folk at the club said they find the odd one occasionally. It'll be those Women's Union people who are responsible – I'm so glad you're not involved with the Pankhurst troublemakers darling.“

“Cup of tea dear?” asked Violet.

Living in the Material World

George Harrison followed up 'All Things Must Pass' with a classic album

this is a review which I wrote for Amazon several years ago. I made a couple of minor edits before re-posting here.

In 1971 George Harrison released the excellent and hugely successful 'All Things Must Pass' - his first solo album (excluding the 'Wonderwall' soundtrack and the failed experiment with 'Electronic Sound', both recorded prior to the Beatles break-up). 'My Sweet Lord' was the massive, and controversial, hit from that album. (Listen to 'Isn't It a Pity' for the standout track.) After the major success of 'All Things' the question was could George repeat the feat with his 2nd album - 'Living in The Material World' (1973)?
 
Although he wasn't as strong or confident a singer as John and Paul there was a haunting wistfulness in George's voice that really gave his music a quality that the other two wouldn't match. Just as George couldn't compete with them when it came to belting out rockers so they wouldn't have conveyed the emotion that he did on his first 2 solo albums. For me, the slow ballads were George's strength - his serious reflections on life, fame and spirituality.

There are several standouts on 'Material World' including 'The Light That Has Lighted The World' - a song about resisting change which is melodically strong if lyrically dark. Nicky Hopkins' piano is just outstanding and George shows how far he has developed his guitar skills. In his book 'The Music of George Harrison - While My Guitar Gently Weeps' (a recommended read with many observations, insights, technical comments on the GH songs) Simon Leng says that the song is "not quite fully realised as there is no chorus, and no hook to fix the piece in the mind." I can't accept that - if we really need all of the music that we enjoy to conform to stereotype construction then we should stick to throwaway pop and forget about talented songwriters like GH who are prepared to try something different occasionally - the only question to ask is 'does it work?'. In this case there is no debate. It has no chorus because George didn't want one in and the song does 'fix' in the mind very quickly - it's really excellent - the album's magnum opus.

'Who Can See It' is another ballad which has an unusually complex construction (George brought lots of ideas into his music from his study of Indian instruments and rhythms) but it's such a great piece that it all falls into place very quickly and the haunting vocals just stop you in your tracks. Listen to it without any distractions (get those headphones out) - let the emotions take hold and you might just have to wipe away a tear at the end. This must be George's strongest ever vocal performance - the beautiful line "..... my life belongs to me, my love belongs to who can see it" is presumably the ex-Beatle talking about his desire to step back out of the public gaze - after the traumatic years of hysteria which he so detested. In the book 'I Me Mine' George says that this song reminds him of Roy Orbison. You can tell what he means when you listen to the rising lyrics but Roy would never have got near the emotion that George's vocals convey here.

'That is All' is yet another lovely ballad - nothing too introspective or dark here, just a love song with an interesting construction, a fuller sound and a hauntingly emotional vocal. 'Give Me Love (Give Me Peace On Earth)' was the monster hit single from the album - 'Don't Let Me Wait Too Long' would have been another had it been released as a 45. 'Sue Me, Sue You Blues' doesn't work for me but GH gets to display his skills with the dobro. 'Try Some Buy Some' is dismissed by Simon Leng as an 'obvious filler track' (it has the lush Spector treatment which is out of kilter with the mood of the album) but it works and that is all we can ask!

Rolling Stone called the album "drearily monochromatic" - were they offended by some of the sentiments perhaps? George Harrison dealt neatly with some of the critics "they feel threatened when you talk about something that isn't be-bop-a-lula". The best response to the critics was provided by the album's success - over 3 million copies sold worldwide to go with the No. 1 single. Listen to the whole set and ask yourself how such a talent was stifled during the latter Beatle years when he was made to feel so inferior to the Lennon / McCartney double act that he was nervous and hesitant about offering his own compositions to the band ('Something' and 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' were both turned down initially).

This album saw George emerge as the complete article - song writer, singer and guitarist (there's no Eric Clapton to help out) and it beggars belief to think that he wasn't given more room for creativity in the Beatles. John and Paul must have been blown away when they heard this - if you haven't heard it you should do so immediately. If it is a distant memory from almost 50 years ago then buy the CD and get to know it again - you won't regret it!

Echoes of Syd and Rick

this is the first of two pieces written in response to a writing group challenge. The set topic was 'music'. The word limit was 750 (which I ignored for the second piece - see 'Riding the Steel Breeze'). For this piece I wanted to try a conversational style (the equivalent of breaking the 'fourth wall' perhaps?) I've also added a couple of YouTube links after the postscript.

Can you think of a song that you could identify from just one note on a keyboard?

OK, let's set the scene …....

It's 2006 and Pink Floyd's virtuoso guitarist David Gilmour is playing a concert at Gdansk Shipyard to celebrate the anniversary of the founding of the Solidarity Trade Union in Poland. It's not a Pink Floyd concert, but with Rick Wright on keyboards it almost is, especially when the band perform some classic Floyd material. The concert is being recorded and will later be released as David Gilmour's 'Live in Gdansk'.

Now, we'll go back briefly to 1971 ….....

Pink Floyd are gradually evolving into the band which will shortly conquer the world with their 'Dark Side of the Moon'. They are not yet there though, although the new album 'Meddle' provides a glimpse of what is to come two years later. A bit more than a glimpse in fact. The whole 23min 31sec of one side of the album is taken up by one track. It's a complex multi-part piece which starts quietly with Rick Wright's keyboard, shortly joined by Gilmour's melancholy guitar. The introduction ushers in the full band, and two verses with chorus precede a heavier, trademark Pink Floyd, prog-rock segment. There's an electronic 'noise' section in the middle with atmospheric wind, whistles, screeches etc. before the delicious moment where Wright fades in a gorgeous, sustained chord (more trademark Floyd) on the organ and the whole structure is rebuilt with a third verse leading into a lengthy climactic closing section with everything finally blown away in a sweeping wind. It's a brilliant piece of music – something to immerse yourself in. You might even feel emotional!

Excuse another detour here (don't worry, I'm keeping track of where we are) …....

A few years ago there was an article in The Guardian which I kept folded up inside my copy of Nick Hornby's excellent book '31 Songs'. I found it again recently. The writer recalls the occasion when a boy stood up at her school's end of year variety show and read the lyrics to Syd Barrett's 'Bike' (from Floyd's first album in 1967). The point was that he must have felt so passionately about that song that he wanted to stand on a stage and read it to the whole school.

“I've got a bike / You can ride it if you like / It's got a basket / A bell that rings / And things to make it look good / I'd give it you if I could / But I borrowed it.” (it starts to get a bit weird after that!)

I always thought that Roger Waters' lyrics to 'Echoes' would have been more suited to such an occasion. (I agree it's not Dylan Thomas or W.H. Auden, but it's rather more poetic than 'Bike' - and a little less psychedelic.) Here's verse 1 :

Overhead the albatross
Hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
An echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine

two old friends performing together

Now it's back to Poland, and that 2006 Gilmour concert in Gdansk …..

The stage is in darkness and 50,000 people are waiting expectantly to hear what is coming next.

Then just a single note (a high octave B that sounds like a submarine sonar) is played on a keyboard – the crowd erupt – they know what's coming now. A beam of blue light picks out Rick Wright as he plays his introduction. A minute later David Gilmour joins in with a wistful guitar accompaniment. The blue light picks him out too with 'smoke' from the dry ice adding hugely to the drama. For another 40 seconds it's just the two old friends performing together. Then, a cymbal shimmer invites the whole band to join in and the lighting bathes them in soft smoky red. It's ECHOES!

POSTSCRIPT

Rick Wright died of cancer in 2008, two years after the 'Live in Gdansk' concert and just a week before the album release. David Gilmour has stated that he will never play 'Echoes' again as his friend's contribution was so important to the song. For the same reason he said that Wright's death was the end of Pink Floyd.

A few selected resources

Album : Pink Floyd 'Meddle' (1971)

Album : David Gilmour 'Live in Gdansk' (2008)

Film / DVD : Live at Pompeii (1972)

DVD : Live at Pompeii (Director's Cut 2002)

Books :

Inside Out : A Personal History of Pink Floyd (Nick Mason) 2017 Edition

Their Mortal Remains (V&A Publishing 2017)

YouTube Videos :

Echoes (Live in Gdansk, 2006) https://youtu.be/EMneCi9F_UQ

Echoes (Meddle) https://youtu.be/53N99Nim6WE

Bike (from 'The Piper at the Gates of Dawn' 1967) https://youtu.be/2PoLaX4IA_0

Riding the Steel Breeze

this is the second of two pieces written in response to a writing group challenge. The set topic was 'music'. The word limit was supposed to be 750 but, having adhered to that with my first piece (see 'Echoes of Syd and Rick') I felt free to be a little less restrained for this one! It is supposed to have a '31 Songs' (Nick Hornby) vibe - but I'm not sure that there's enough of me in it for that. 

I remember where I was when I first heard 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond'. First, a little background. I wasn't really aware of Pink Floyd when they brought out their debut album seven years earlier in 1967. They were led by the charismatic Syd Barrett, the darling of the band's fans. Their first single was 'Arnold Layne', a song about a transvestite who stole women's clothing from washing lines. It charted at no.20 and gave them a little useful publicity when Radio London banned it for being unsuitable. Their next single was 'See Emily Play'. By now, the band were getting noticed. Three appearances on Top of the Pops followed, and they found themselves at no.6 in the singles chart - in those days it took a lot of sales to break into the Top Ten. Syd refused to appear on TOTP again, saying “if John Lennon doesn't have to do it why should I?” ('Emily' will return to the story later.)

Syd - bright, talkative and charming (May 1967)

 Although he was the singer, song-writer and lead guitarist, Barrett's behaviour was becoming problematic. His LSD fuelled self-destruction rendered him increasingly unreliable and unpredictable. He was becoming a liability. The band were in danger of throwing away everything. A second guitarist, David Gilmour, was recruited and, briefly, Floyd were a five-piece with a busy diary of bookings. Barrett was often in no condition to sing or play and might simply stand still on stage without making any contribution whatever to the performance. On another occasion he would de-tune all his strings and play a discordant jangle whilst the others attempted to cover for him. Drummer, Nick Mason recalls that one day in early 1968 the band were driving to a gig and they simply decided not to pick Syd up. He never played with them again.

The post-Barrett Pink Floyd have been prominent in the soundtrack to my adult life since the early 70s. From sharing a flat with music obsessed friends to working shifts with prog-rock devotees, I've lived and worked with 'Abbey Road', 'Tubular Bells', Cream, Hendrix, Zeppelin, Santana, The Who and many others, but Floyd eclipsed them all (excuse the pun). 'Dark Side of the Moon' changed everything. It was astonishingly successful because of the combination of musical and lyrical excellence, it's thematic flow with the unlikely subject of madness (Barrett inspired?) as the central strand, and its emotional tug. Now they had the problem of writing and recording a follow up to their monster selling album!

In 1974 they were in Abbey Road recording studios creating the new album 'Wish You Were Here' when a disheveled shaven headed fat fellow in a trench-coat wandered in. The band didn't recognise him and had to be told - it was Syd! Everyone was shocked at the change. Bass player Roger Waters said “when he came to the 'Wish You Were Here' sessions - ironic in itself - to see this great, fat, bald, mad person, I was in (expletive) tears.” Rick Wright recalls “He had shaved all his hair off – I mean his eyebrows – everything! He was jumping up and down brushing his teeth. It was awful!”

Barrett's visit was more than ironic, it was astonishing timing. The album's magnum opus was the mercurial 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond', a song which expressed sadness about Syd, his disintegration and the waste of his talent. The song was co-written by Gilmour, Waters and keyboard player Rick Wright. Waters was responsible for the lyrics which described Syd as both a “seer of visions” and a haunted, frightened “target for faraway laughter” who “wore out his welcome”. Whether Syd was aware of the significance of the album title ('Wish You Were Here') or the lyrical content of 'Shine On' cannot be known.

It was at Trentham Gardens Ballroom in November, 1974 when I first heard 'Shine On'. Pink Floyd were touring Britain and the Stoke-on-Trent venue was midway through their schedule. They were playing the 'Dark Side of the Moon' set, but they started off by introducing three new songs written for the next album, which was still to be recorded. It turned out that the first two songs didn't make that album. They had to wait for the following one ('Animals'). The third song was called 'Shine On You Crazy Diamond' and it was just amazing. It's a lengthy song - mainly instrumental, with a mournful, repeating 4 note guitar theme¹ which Dave Gilmour discovered whilst 'doodling' in the rehearsal room. “I don't know where it came from, it could have just been an accident. It did seem to have a haunting quality and I repeated it a few times”, he recalls. “That moved something in Roger and it started the whole process off which became 'Shine On'. It was specifically about Syd and his problems.”

The final recording appears on 'Wish You Were Here' in two parts² which bookend the other three tracks. Both parts together comprise of almost 26 mins of musical brilliance, equalling anything the band have produced before or since. It is a lament rather than a tribute, but there is a final moment of respect to the band's former leader when, as the last notes of 'Shine On' fade out, Rick Wright on keyboards plays a few ghostly notes from the vocal melody of 'See Emily Play' (“Emily tries but misunderstands”). Most people will probably have missed that poignant reference (including perhaps the damaged Syd Barrett?) but Wright clearly wanted to leave a personal message to his old friend.

The reason I remember when and where I first heard 'Shine On' is that I still have that concert program from 1974. I made a note of the set list too. After the new songs they played the entire 'Dark Side of the Moon' set. Finally, for an encore, we were treated to the magnificent 'Echoes' from their earlier album ('Meddle'). Amazing! I only saw Floyd one more time when they were touring with 'Animals' (remember the flying pig?) – they were always spectacular but, for me, nothing could match that night at Trentham!

footnotes

1The four-note theme (B♭, F, G [below the B♭], E)

2SOYCD was recorded in 9 sections. Part One itself comprises five sections (confusingly labelled as parts 1 to 5 on the original vinyl album.) Part Two comprises a further 4 sections (labelled as 6 to 9 on the vinyl album).

A few links …..

Shine On You Crazy Diamond (full version – parts 1 - 9)

https://youtu.be/8UXircX3VdM

Wikipedia – Shine On (detailed breakdown of all 9 parts) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shine_On_You_Crazy_Diamond

Top of the Pops (July, 1967) – this badly damaged footage of 'See Emily Play' is all that is left. https://youtu.be/ns4fR7tw2DA

BBC2 Arts program (May, 1967) – a dreadfully conducted interview with Syd and Roger. (Syd is bright, talkative and charming – so sad how it all went wrong so quickly!) https://youtu.be/otyfo2KuaNQ

Syd Barrett - The breakdown of Syd as told by his sister and band members. - Radio Broadcast (2011) https://youtu.be/3zi_o1_7zDc

Emmy and the Empress

The creative writing group had gone their own ways for over a year- and then came Covid-19. Everyone was required to stay at home for several weeks (maybe months?) and it seemed a good idea to reawaken the slumbering writers with a challenge. As we can't meet physically for a while, we would circulate our responses via email. The first challenge was to produce a story of max 750 words which featured someone 'in a fix'. I struggled with the brief, but will argue that my leading lady did indeed find herself 'in a fix'. I think I slightly pushed the word limit too - but who's counting!

EMMY AND THE EMPRESS – inspired by actual events.

Emmy watched the crew, awaiting her chance.

GO! Quick as a flash she was down the third class gangway and across the quayside, nimbly darting past the stevedores as they loaded the last of the supplies, and straight to the shed at Pier 27 where she sat and watched the Empress being prepared for departure.

The Empress of Ireland was due to sail within the hour. Several of the Liverpool bound passengers were watching the last minute preparation from their respective decks – as was young Lizzie Jones, one of the 11 stewardesses who were signed up crew members for the Atlantic crossing.

Emmy had been the ship's cat for about 2 years – no one could quite remember when she first stowed away and made the Empress her home, but most of the crew befriended the skinny, ginger tabby who delighted in their attentions and grew fatter with their offerings of food. Emmy had one special favourite – Lizzie Jones who had joined the crew a few months later. Lizzie in turn was devoted to Emmy who was allowed to sleep on her bunk to the amusement of the other stewardesses.

With less than an hour to departure, some of the passengers were surprised to see a cat fleeing the ship. Lizzie saw her too and was horrified. It was her Emmy! Without hesitation she ran after her, barging past the protesting deck officer and shouting that she would be back on board in a few minutes.

It all happened so quickly. On the quayside, in her rush, she hadn't noticed the dray as it returned from offloading its cargo of beer and wine. Then, too late, she saw it. Twisting out of the horse's way and slipping on the cobbles, she lost her balance and banged her head so hard that she lost consciousness.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

“Don't move young lady, you've had an accident.” said the blurry white figure. “You need to lie still for a little while.”

“No, I can't, I have to go now. I have to find my cat and get back to my ship. I'm with the Empress of Ireland and she's sailing this afternoon.”

“Don't worry about that,” replied the nurse, now coming into focus. “The Empress sailed two hours ago. They know what happened – you're on extended shore leave for the next 3 weeks.”

- - - - - - - - - - -

From their Quebec City departure the Empress liners claimed 'The Shortest Ocean Passage to Liverpool – Two days along the St Lawrence river and Gulf, and four days crossing the Atlantic'. The Canadian Pacific advertising for their liners proudly boasted 'Safety, Speed & Splendour'.

At 1:36 am on 29^th May 1914, almost 9hrs after leaving Quebec, the Empress spotted an oncoming ship, some 6 miles away. The ships were on course to pass in about 12 minutes. The Empress set a course to provide plenty of room for the unidentified inbound steamer.

They were 150 miles NE of Quebec City. It was at this critical moment that a phantom fog rolled in which enveloped both vessels and reduced visibility to zero. For reasons that would never be satisfactorily established, one or both of the ships must have changed course. The Norwegian cargo vessel Storstad impaled the Empress at 90 degrees on the starboard side between the two funnels.

It was 1:55am. The damage to the Empress was so severe that it took just 15 minutes for the great liner to completely disappear underwater.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The first news of the sinking reported that all lives were saved. The picture changed dramatically as each new report came in. Soon the horrific facts became clearer. Very few lifeboats were successfully deployed in the dark on a rapidly capsizing ship.

The first of the survivors to be picked up by rescue vessels arrived back in Quebec about 12 hours after the disaster. The bodies did too! Shed 27 was turned into a temporary morgue.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Earlier the previous evening, against medical advice, Lizzie discharged herself from hospital. She had no foreboding of the tragedy which would shortly be played out on the St Lawrence. She had to find Emmy and made her way back to the Pier 27 Shed on the quayside. To her huge relief she spotted the ship's tabby perched on a vantage point looking out to the harbour from the open shed doors. Emmy willingly allowed herself to be scooped up and taken to Lizzie's parents' cottage – a short distance from the harbour. Thanks to Emmy, both were safe. Following the dreadful events of 29^th May, 1914, neither of them ever returned to sea.

- - - - - - - - - - -

POSTSCRIPT

The 'Empress of Ireland' sailed from Quebec City (for Liverpool) on 28^th May, 1914.

The collision with the Norwegian collier Storstad in the St Lawrence river at 0150 the following morning, happened as described.

840 of the 1057 passengers were lost.

This was more passengers than had perished on The Titanic two years earlier!

172 crew also perished. In total 1012 lives were lost.

Of the 10 stewardesses in the crew, only 1 survived.

The ship's cat Emmy absconded from the 'Empress' as she was preparing for sailing.

A crew member was sent to bring her back but she escaped again. Feline intuition?

Lizzie Jones is a fictitious character.

Alan Carr, April, 2020

Recommended reading:

Forgotten Empress – The Tragedy of the Empress of Ireland

(David Zeni, 2001)